HOUSTON, Tex— Houston Astros General Manager Jeff Luhnow and coach A.J. Hinch might normally be trudging through the typical off-season motions that are associated with their responsibilities, but that all changed for them on Monday. “I still can’t believe it,” Hinch said. “One year vacation? We’re still World Series Champions. I can’t wait to tellContinue reading “Astros GM and Manager Awarded One-Year Vacation for Cheating”
Author Archives: Dan Irwin
Nick Saban Starts Recruiting Michigan Prospects During Citrus Bowl
Alabama Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban usually starts his recruiting activities quickly after the season ends, but this year it appears Saban is getting started even earlier. “He wants to set up these satellite camps in Alabama,” Saban said of Michigan Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh. “Cool. No problem. But out of the group they invitedContinue reading “Nick Saban Starts Recruiting Michigan Prospects During Citrus Bowl”
Lynn Bowden Gets Ten KO’s Prior to Belk Bowl, Ready for IBF Title Match
(CHARLOTTE, N.C.) – Kentucky Wildcats all-purpose man Lynn Bowden got a little scrappy with the Virginia Tech Hokies prior to the Belk Bowl on Tuesday. Emotions boiled over when Bowden punched several players, fans and mascots just outside of the window where he could have been ejected from the game for doing so. “I don’tContinue reading “Lynn Bowden Gets Ten KO’s Prior to Belk Bowl, Ready for IBF Title Match”
“Yuuup!” EA Sports to Make ‘2020 Curling’ Game with Jared Allen as Cover Athlete
(Stevens Point, Wisc.) – Former NFL star Jared Allen may not ever make the cover of Madden, but he secured the top honor in the world of curling by being named to the cover of EA Sports’ inaugural curling video game, Curling 2021 on Monday night. The United States Curling Association voted unanimously to sponsorContinue reading ““Yuuup!” EA Sports to Make ‘2020 Curling’ Game with Jared Allen as Cover Athlete”
Cardinals Josh Shaw to Turn Up NFL and Recreational Gambling
(Tempe, AZ) – Cardinals cornerback Josh Shaw may have been found in violation of the league’s gambling policy, but don’t plan on that stopping his love of the hustle anytime soon. “Imma throw down bones, duckets, scrilla, and you can bet I’ll win the same,” Shaw told The Beet in a special interview outside ofContinue reading “Cardinals Josh Shaw to Turn Up NFL and Recreational Gambling”
Nevada Wolfpack to Have UFO Flyover to Finish Season Against UNLV
Some might say that the Nevada Wolfpack are perhaps embracing too much of a social stereotype, but that won’t stop a scheduled UFO flyover from happening over Mackay Stadium this Saturday. “It’s something I think our fans and alumni deserve,” said a passionate Jay Norvell following an alumni luncheon. “We know they’re there, get ‘emContinue reading “Nevada Wolfpack to Have UFO Flyover to Finish Season Against UNLV”
MSU to Commemorate Elijah Moore Pissing Away Rebels Hopes With Statue
(Starkville, MISS.) – The Mississippi State Bulldogs announced on Friday that they would commemorate the ending of the 2019 Egg Bowl with a statue of Elijah Moore that will adorn the lawn outside of Davis Wade Stadium. “The real irony is that as a member of the Ole Miss team, [Moore] pretended to be aContinue reading “MSU to Commemorate Elijah Moore Pissing Away Rebels Hopes With Statue”
NCAA Brings Out The Undertaker to Make Mizzou Appeal Announcement
(Indianapolis, IND.) – In a move that the NCAA defended as “completely necessary,” and “in no way associated with the hilarious tone of the penalties,” the NCAA brought out The Undertaker before Thanksgiving to help make the announcement regarding Mizzou’s Infractions appeal. “We really just wanted to take a dump on the Mizzou fanbase beforeContinue reading “NCAA Brings Out The Undertaker to Make Mizzou Appeal Announcement”
John Madden Claims to be Haunted by Every Turducken He’s Ever Eaten
Celebrity good-guy John Madden gave some enthralling revelations prior to an NFL event recently. “They see me in my dreams, on other people’s faces. I was watching the Hall-of-Fame Game and it was an offensive line of angry birds,” Madden told a group of media including The Beet. “They want revenge.” Madden was asked aboutContinue reading “John Madden Claims to be Haunted by Every Turducken He’s Ever Eaten”
Bill Self Furious Snoop Dogg Left Him No Weed as Promised
(LAWRENCE, Kan.) University of Kansas basketball coach Bill Self had the public relations nightmare to deal with this past Friday night. And just when you thought that was the end, it’s taken a predictable turn at this point. “It’s cool. I mean I only cried to him about my childhood on the phone, it’s notContinue reading “Bill Self Furious Snoop Dogg Left Him No Weed as Promised”
The Beet 