Nevada Wolfpack to Have UFO Flyover to Finish Season Against UNLV

Some might say that the Nevada Wolfpack are perhaps embracing too much of a social stereotype, but that won’t stop a scheduled UFO flyover from happening over Mackay Stadium this Saturday. “It’s something I think our fans and alumni deserve,” said a passionate Jay Norvell following an alumni luncheon. “We know they’re there, get ‘emContinue reading “Nevada Wolfpack to Have UFO Flyover to Finish Season Against UNLV”

MSU to Commemorate Elijah Moore Pissing Away Rebels Hopes With Statue

(Starkville, MISS.) – The Mississippi State Bulldogs announced on Friday that they would commemorate the ending of the 2019 Egg Bowl with a statue of Elijah Moore that will adorn the lawn outside of Davis Wade Stadium. “The real irony is that as a member of the Ole Miss team, [Moore] pretended to be aContinue reading “MSU to Commemorate Elijah Moore Pissing Away Rebels Hopes With Statue”

NCAA Brings Out The Undertaker to Make Mizzou Appeal Announcement

(Indianapolis, IND.) – In a move that the NCAA defended as “completely necessary,” and “in no way associated with the hilarious tone of the penalties,” the NCAA brought out The Undertaker before Thanksgiving to help make the announcement regarding Mizzou’s Infractions appeal. “We really just wanted to take a dump on the Mizzou fanbase beforeContinue reading “NCAA Brings Out The Undertaker to Make Mizzou Appeal Announcement”

John Madden Claims to be Haunted by Every Turducken He’s Ever Eaten

Celebrity good-guy John Madden gave some enthralling revelations prior to an NFL event recently. “They see me in my dreams, on other people’s faces. I was watching the Hall-of-Fame Game and it was an offensive line of angry birds,” Madden told a group of media including The Beet. “They want revenge.” Madden was asked aboutContinue reading “John Madden Claims to be Haunted by Every Turducken He’s Ever Eaten”

Bill Self Furious Snoop Dogg Left Him No Weed as Promised

(LAWRENCE, Kan.) University of Kansas basketball coach Bill Self had the public relations nightmare to deal with this past Friday night. And just when you thought that was the end, it’s taken a predictable turn at this point. “It’s cool. I mean I only cried to him about my childhood on the phone, it’s notContinue reading “Bill Self Furious Snoop Dogg Left Him No Weed as Promised”

Will Muschamp to Disclose Every Scripted Play Before Kentucky Game Next Season

(COLUMBIA, S. Car.) South Carolina Gamecocks football coach Will Muschamp had great success telling Cole Cubelic of SEC Network what he was going to do as soon as the half resumed this past Saturday. The success was viewed as so good by Muschamp that during his weekly staff meeting, the decision was made to approachContinue reading “Will Muschamp to Disclose Every Scripted Play Before Kentucky Game Next Season”

Bill Self Charges Weekend Excursion, Hookers to Athletic Department Credit Cards

(LAWRENCE, Kan.) Bill Self may be going into some sort of psychological breakdown as a result of the NCAA investigation now coming to light involving the Kansas Jayhawks. “It’s just not [expletive] fair,” Self told The Beet as he was hanging out by a homeless shelter near downtown Lawrence. “I’m the freaking victim in this.Continue reading “Bill Self Charges Weekend Excursion, Hookers to Athletic Department Credit Cards”

Sick of Being Called Homer, Barrett Sallee Decides to Embrace Accusations

(ATHENS, Geo.) College football analyst Barrett Sallee is often fielding a long list of accusations from a fanbase whenever he makes a statement or has an opinion. But perhaps the most frequently levied charge against the CBS Sports writer is that he is a homer for the Georgia Bulldogs. Fed up with the long-running insinuations,Continue reading “Sick of Being Called Homer, Barrett Sallee Decides to Embrace Accusations”