Mike Krzyzewski Promises to Yell at “Everyone in the Arena” Ahead of Boston College Game

(DURHAM, N.C) – Duke Blue Devils men’s basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski came under scrutiny for his recent reaction toward the team’s student section. But don’t think that this recent incident has turned Coach K into a softy. “I’m really going to turn up the heat,” Krzyzewski told The Beet at an illegal dog fight inContinue reading “Mike Krzyzewski Promises to Yell at “Everyone in the Arena” Ahead of Boston College Game”

NCAA to Expand March Madness Basketball Tournament to 256 Teams

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind.—With expansion being a hot topic for several years now, the NCAA decided to make a move they believe is something that was “bound to happen in the future.” “We’re pleased to announce a level of inclusion that will see dollars go straight to our bank accounts in Bahrain,” NCAA President Mark Emmert toldContinue reading “NCAA to Expand March Madness Basketball Tournament to 256 Teams”

Rapid Reaction: LSU’s Joe Burrow to Play With Ruptured Spleen, Broken Skull

NEW ORLEANS, La.—LSU Tigers quarterback Joe Burrow had some noticeable trouble, but The Beet has learned that his injuries are slightly more enumerated. “He’s actually wearing dentures right now, they got ahold of him pretty good,” said an LSU team doctor who wished to remain anonymous. “They ruptured his spleen, broke a part of hisContinue reading “Rapid Reaction: LSU’s Joe Burrow to Play With Ruptured Spleen, Broken Skull”

Rapid Reaction: Trevor Lawrence’s Hair Loses Integrity in First Half

NEW ORLEANS, La.—Clemson Tigers star quarterback Trevor Lawrence is frustrated with giving up a lead, but the worst news was delivered via his publicist who was informed by his stylist. “It nearly looks like Trevor is using a wax-based conditioner, I don’t know what he’s thinking,” said Lawrence’s stylist who wished not to be identified.Continue reading “Rapid Reaction: Trevor Lawrence’s Hair Loses Integrity in First Half”

Kansas City Chiefs to Scan All Ticket Holders for Bad Luck

KANSAS CITY, Mo.—Kansas City Chiefs fans don’t have to worry about the bad luck bug striking before next week’s AFC Championship Game, as the team appears to be taking a proactive approach towards superstitious threats. “We’re going to have added security of course,” said Kansas City Chiefs CEO Clark Hunt. “But our main focus afterContinue reading “Kansas City Chiefs to Scan All Ticket Holders for Bad Luck”

Astros GM and Manager Awarded One-Year Vacation for Cheating

HOUSTON, Tex— Houston Astros General Manager Jeff Luhnow and coach A.J. Hinch might normally be trudging through the typical off-season motions that are associated with their responsibilities, but that all changed for them on Monday. “I still can’t believe it,” Hinch said. “One year vacation? We’re still World Series Champions. I can’t wait to tellContinue reading “Astros GM and Manager Awarded One-Year Vacation for Cheating”

Nick Saban Starts Recruiting Michigan Prospects During Citrus Bowl

Alabama Crimson Tide coach Nick Saban usually starts his recruiting activities quickly after the season ends, but this year it appears Saban is getting started even earlier. “He wants to set up these satellite camps in Alabama,” Saban said of Michigan Wolverines coach Jim Harbaugh. “Cool. No problem. But out of the group they invitedContinue reading “Nick Saban Starts Recruiting Michigan Prospects During Citrus Bowl”

Lynn Bowden Gets Ten KO’s Prior to Belk Bowl, Ready for IBF Title Match​

(CHARLOTTE, N.C.) – Kentucky Wildcats all-purpose man Lynn Bowden got a little scrappy with the Virginia Tech Hokies prior to the Belk Bowl on Tuesday. Emotions boiled over when Bowden punched several players, fans and mascots just outside of the window where he could have been ejected from the game for doing so. “I don’tContinue reading “Lynn Bowden Gets Ten KO’s Prior to Belk Bowl, Ready for IBF Title Match​”

“Yuuup!” EA Sports to Make ‘2020 Curling’ Game with Jared Allen as Cover Athlete

(Stevens Point, Wisc.) – Former NFL star Jared Allen may not ever make the cover of Madden, but he secured the top honor in the world of curling by being named to the cover of EA Sports’ inaugural curling video game, Curling 2021 on Monday night. The United States Curling Association voted unanimously to sponsorContinue reading ““Yuuup!” EA Sports to Make ‘2020 Curling’ Game with Jared Allen as Cover Athlete”

Cardinals Josh Shaw to Turn Up NFL and Recreational Gambling

(Tempe, AZ) – Cardinals cornerback Josh Shaw may have been found in violation of the league’s gambling policy, but don’t plan on that stopping his love of the hustle anytime soon. “Imma throw down bones, duckets, scrilla, and you can bet I’ll win the same,” Shaw told The Beet in a special interview outside ofContinue reading “Cardinals Josh Shaw to Turn Up NFL and Recreational Gambling”