John Madden Claims to be Haunted by Every Turducken He’s Ever Eaten

Celebrity good-guy John Madden gave some enthralling revelations prior to an NFL event recently.

“They see me in my dreams, on other people’s faces. I was watching the Hall-of-Fame Game and it was an offensive line of angry birds,” Madden told a group of media including The Beet. “They want revenge.”

Madden was asked about how many Turduckens he’s eaten in his lifetime.

“It’s not even about that,” he said. “I caused so many other people all over the world to make Turduckens, they kind of blame me for that.”

Madden even claims to have hired an African shaman in hopes of rebuking the spirits, but even his professional spirit men believe he may have crossed the line.

“I can’t even drive past a KFC or my wheels just come off the axels,” Madden said with a defeated tone. “You spend years eating a delicious meal, and it’ll come back to kill you.”

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